Only My Honesty Matters

…a zine about belonging and being yourself

Aug 15, 2023

So, I published another zine. It’s the final part in a trilogy that depicts my journey from the mediocrity of middle management to an artistic existence where photography comes first.

Set in Morocco during and on either side of Ramadan, 2023, the sequence starts with an image I’ve come to think of as a self-portrait. An older gentleman stands in a smoky alleyway carrying a Rolleiflex. Flanked by a local complaining about my photograph, his half-smile and friendly demeanour stare back at me in wistful anticipation of my future self.

From there, the series meanders through the day-to-day in a society with a strong sense of conformity. And explores notions of belonging and self-actualisation. Both human needs hold extra significance for me after my decision to depart the relative comfort of a corporate career and opt for a less predictable and slightly more precarious life on the road.

Somewhere along the line, hard work got equated with honesty. It was probably a ruse by the powers-that-be to keep your average Joe on the straight and narrow. Although these two concepts are interlinked, they are not interchangeable. Because honesty with yourself sometimes gets overlooked. If our efforts align with someone else’s desires and values rather than our own, the good life will escape us.

And so, my search for truth and freedom brought me to Morocco to work on a personal project. Not an easy place to do such a thing, given the local reluctance to be photographed. But the stealthy (not sneaky) approach often bears fruit. The combination of North African light and down-to-earth tones gives an authentic, otherworldly atmosphere that inspired masters like Harry Gruyaert. An aesthetic which makes this place a worthy rite of passage for the generations of photographers that follow.

The series ends with a shot at sunrise on the last day of Ramadan. The pious congregated for dawn prayers at the finale of holy month. And although this heathen can’t get his head around the whys and wherefores, he did get up early for the Kodak moment. Following the crowd for an hour to an unknown destination did not disappoint. Something peaceful and slightly euphoric was in the air.

With these images, I have drifted into a more intentional style of image-making. In Morocco, I slowed down and began to loiter in areas with good light and wait for things to happen. Using the viewfinder more than the backscreen to compose, I worked the scenes and came up with more premeditated photographs than previously.

As usual, the zine includes an essay, which provides context for the 37 photographs and some background and commentary on my seven weeks in Marrakech, Casablanca and Essaouira. It wraps up my three-part zine series. A kind of photographic memoir of my reinvention. And a cathartic precursor to the social documentary photography that I would like to focus on from this point forward.

Only My Honesty Matters is available to purchase and preview here.

PS. I am writing this from Istanbul. It’s the last week of a nearly 3-month stay that started with a Raw Society workshop. During this time, I explored the city with my camera’s EVF and backscreen set to black and white. For me, a new way of looking at the world. The images will form my next project. Subscribe for updates.

Acknowledgement: The mentorship and advice I received from Jorge Delgado-Ureña at the Raw Society helped make this zine a reality. Special thanks.